one might say we're banned from that church
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
