R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
