he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
