Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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