I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
