i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
