Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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