let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Let's paint friendship bongs
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
