Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
