How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
