I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize