u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
