DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
