I wanna bring you to show and tell
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How does one acquire holy water?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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