I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
ttyl tear gas
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
