oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize