Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
