You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
