shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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