let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
