Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize