I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
