They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
