things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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