We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
