I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
