He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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