She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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