used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
