she was so not down for the gang bang
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
