She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
