He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
