Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
