Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
