I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
