i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
