Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
