areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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