I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
