Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
