where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
