you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so let's talk penis.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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