why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Let's paint friendship bongs
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
