She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think a kid would responsible me up
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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