thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize