I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
