I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize