Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize