too bad you live with your parents still
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
