You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
