no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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