; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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