Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he thought i was a dude.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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