Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
