woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
