did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
