i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
