omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
