people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize