worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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