One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
