I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
