it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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