are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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