The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
